You know? We have a child. We’re a family now. I am an arbiter of taste, and people think that I have the ability to make things cool—or if I’m doing it, it should be cool. And I feel that this stuff’s starting to be cool. And that feels good to me. Because I don’t like walking around with people thinking I’m doing uncool shit, because there’s nothing I’m doing that’s uncool. It’s all innovative. You just might not understand it yet. But it’s cool. Family is super cool. Going home to one girl every night is super cool. Just going home and getting on the floor and playing with your child is super cool. Not wearing a red leather jacket, and just looking like a dad and shit, is like super cool. Having someone that I can call Mom again. That shit is super cool.Kanye is the best.
My friend Lindsay tweeted that this afternoon. I had favorited it, but I hadn’t retweeted it, so when I saw the second tweet, I went ahead and did it. Because there’s no reason not to, and—maybe because of this nonsense going on today where a bunch of nerds are mad that Thor is going to be a woman in Marvel’s interpretation of the character for a while—it reminded me of that page from Hitman.
Hitman was enjoying its run when I was 17 or so, and it was my jam. It was funny and mean-spirited and violent, but also very smart and about, like, manhood and honor and brotherhood and all of stuff that I was passionately interested in interpretations of when I was trying to figure out what kind of man I wanted to become. (Definitely one who read and wrote about comic books a lot.)
And these four panels—I remember them very well, even though I first saw them 17 years ago. Because I remember reading that and thinking, “I should never say that word again.”
Because the character of Tommy Monaghan up there is cool—he’s brave and honorable and funny, someone created specifically for 17 year olds who like swearing and fancy themselves iconoclastic to look up to. So when there’s an entire four-panel sequence devoted specifically to telling those young men that calling a woman a bitch is a bad thing, that if you do that you’re not on the team, that if you want to be the sort of cool guy that Tommy is (and why are you reading the book, if you don’t look up to the character?), you can not use that word. The type of person who would call a woman a bitch is the exact opposite of the kind of guy you want to be.
It’s dumb, kind of, because it’s a comic book about a guy with x-ray vision who kills superpowered bad guys for money. There’s an issue where all of the animals at the Gotham City Zoo become zombies and he clubs a zombie seal to death. It’s not mature. But neither was I, and I knew that this was a thing I needed to give some thought to, because it was treated as something serious. Four panels of making it clear that the sort of guy who calls women bitches is a shitty person.
Because before that, I hadn’t really thought about it. I don’t think I used “bitch” particularly often, but it was a word, you know? It was in my vocabulary, and it had a definition: “woman or girl who does something that I don’t like.” It’s a teacher who is strict with hall passes, or a friend’s mom who enforces a strict curfew, or a girl who makes fun of your haircut or something.
It really hadn’t occurred to me until I saw the use of the word made into a huge deal that it was different from any other swear word that was fun to say. And once that was pointed out to me in terms that made using the word “bitch” seem like one of the more shameful things that a man could do to a woman, it stuck with me that I didn’t want to be that sort of man.
So when Lindsay tweeted that she wanted to see her dude friends make that point, rather than just big-ups her for making the point, I remembered this again. Because if you do this, you are off the team. If you use words like “bitch” or “cunt” to describe a woman, you should feel as ashamed and embarrassed and horrible as Tommy Monaghan does in those panels where Tiegel thought he was going to call her that. But if we don’t talk about that—if we don’t make it clear that you’re playing for the team made up of shitty people who think that women deserve their own special class of insults to put them in their place—then that keeps on happening.
I’m glad I read Hitman when I was 17, goofy as it could be at times. And I’m glad I have people like Lindsay Eyth in my life to remind me that guys like me are responsible for making sure that other dudes get the message.
This was my getting-ready-for-the-bar music, because I’m a silly person and it’s amazing
Based on Lucas’ observations during Raw, it got me thinking how Kane’s mask is used as such a seemingly arbitrary and inconsistent supernatural threat. Does the demon reside in the mask or in the man? Does Daniel Bryan need to be afraid of anyone wearing the mask? Can’t he just keep the mask locked up for good? These are important questions.
The concert of so many different birds became so disturbing that Úrsula would plug her ears with beeswax so as not to lose her sense of reality.Gabriel Garcia Márquez, One Hundred Years of Solitude
THEY HAVE THE ACE ATTORNEY OFFICIAL MANGA IN MY LAW LIBRARY I AM CRYING.
Your honor, something is amiss here!
As you are probably aware, library materials are labeled with barcodes as well as a number to determine their location on the shelf, as per the Dewey Decimal System. The books just to the left of the manga are labeled, as are the DVDs just in view on the lower shelf. Look even further behind these shelves and you’ll see that even those books are labeled!
Ladies and gentlemen of the courtroom, I invite you to take a closer look at the volumes that are, allegedly, part of this law library! Something is missing from the spines, isn’t there?
Where are the bar codes?!
This is a blatant contradiction! The OP is lying— these volumes cannot, therefore, be a part of this library at all! I propose that they simply brought these materials in for the sake of the joke!!
Only focusing on one aspect and not the whole of the issue, are we, Mr. Wright? Typical.
Your honor, if you bring your attention to the books just left of the manga, you’ll notice there’s a book (the second to the left) that also does not have a bar code.
If you examine the picture even closer—particularly the DVDs below—you’ll see that they bear bar codes, but not on the spines. No, they have them on the back and/or front of the DVDs. Of course, this method of labeling and organizing isn’t limited to products of the film industry alone.
Therefore, I’d like to propose that it is entirely possible that the manga books do, in fact, belong to the library!
Wh-WHAAAAT?! You’re kidding!!
(Shoot, he’s got me there… Better think of something fast! Something about the books that sets them apart from—
…! I’ve got it!)
While that may be true, you’ve also overlooked one critical error: the titles of the books! Whether or not your hypothesis regarding the labeling system is correct, these titles aren’t alphabetized correctly! What kind of self-respecting librarian would misplace such vital books?
While it pains me to have to point out something so obvious, I suppose I’ll make an exception for you, Wright.
Clearly, one look at the titles of the books next to the manga is a tell-all of this certain library’s less-than-stellar organization skills. None of the books are in alphabetical order, I’m afraid.
They could very well be alphabetized by author and not title, but it’s a little difficult to be able to decipher that from this single picture, wouldn’t you say?
Furthermore, the manga books themselves are in numerical order, suggesting some kind of system is in place, albeit not a very good one, if the alphabetizing is off.
At the end of the day, it seems like neither of us can draw a clear conclusion from this evidence alone. Your honor, I strongly suggest a recess in which we could investigate the library itself further.
I see the issue here very clearly.
Due to the uncertain nature of this case, we’ll have to postpone this decision until more decisive evidence can be obtained. The court will now take a 15-minute recess.
(W-wait, but I’m not—)
I’ve got some decisive evidence for you, pal!
We investigated further into the photo. Zooming in, you can see a label on the DVD case to the bottom left.
Photo Close-up added to the court record!
As you can see, pal, you can vaguely see the words “Of Toledo Law Library” on the label!
And, considering possibilities of the rest of that label, “University of Toledo" was the first to come to my mind!
A quick search on the University of Toledo’s Online Law Library Database revealed that there ARE the comics pictured in it!
Miles Edgeworth Ace Attorney Investigations volumes 1-4 and Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney volumes 1-5!
And there’s more!
The section these comics are filed under is the “Law in Popular Culture" Section, which matches up with the titles on the rest of the books on that shelf: "Lowering the Bar: Lawyer Jokes & Legal Culture”, “Prime Time Law”, “Lawyers in Your Living Room!" and "Lex Populi”!
Not only is it in the right section, it’s also a documented part of the Law Library’s database!
How’s that for decisive evidence?